Two out of my three kids started daycare when they were just nine-weeks-old. They stayed in daycare until it turned to preschool, then kindergarten… and they loved every bit of it.
My third is still home… and he’s one! This was not planned, but since Coronavirus has us all quarantined and turned my husband into a stay at home dad, he is a true COVID-19 baby (and is very afraid of strangers).
Working Mom Daycare Guilt
Something I’ve never had is working mom daycare guilt… or any other kind of mom guilt, to be honest.
My husband and I had to work and we didn’t have family nearby. We choose a daycare based on recommendations because we wanted our kids to be in a learning environment with a schedule, activities, and other kids.
I was happy to see I’m not the only one on the internet who feels no mom guilt for this (regardless of what strangers on the internet say in the comment section).
Robust education and socially and academically immersive background
PriscillaVon Sorella is with me on this. She does NOT feel guilty about her son being in daycare. She is a single parent who works part-time and manages a full-time e-commerce luxury fashion business.
“If I tried to “do it all” and watch my son while I am working, he would be neglected and not have had the robust education and socially and academically immersive background he would have had staying home with me.”
She is a better parent because she has the time to herself to get things done.
“If I was constantly trying to juggle a million things AND watch my son, I would be under stress that would eventually be passed on to my son. I see it all the time. Women who can’t get a break and I for them imagining how hard it must be to be in their shoes.”
Having her son in daycare has allowed her to have peace of mind.
“Sure, I could have hired a nanny or sitter, but he wouldn’t have had the great education he has and I know they have a great schedule, system, and structure for kids like him that need engagement and fun.”
Does my husband feel guilty?
Lizi Sprague is a fellow PR agency owner at Songue PR. Her nine-month-old daughter just started daycare and she doesn’t feel guilty at all.
“It’s a great next step for her. It’s wonderful seeing her make new friends, and to watch her gain new independence. It is helping me let go of some control – I mean I will not be able to control Lily every day for the rest of her life. I love seeing her interact with other people, other kids. I love watching her learn the art of independent play.
Lizi said she is working so she can save money for her family’s future. Most importantly, she’s being the best role model she can be for her daughter so that as she grows she understands that women can work and have a family and not be punished in doing so.
“I think to myself, does my husband feel guilty? Probably not. He misses her for sure, but he doesn’t feel guilty for working, No. So why should I?”
Quality of the time
Jennifer Madsen is a blogger whose kids are in daycare part-time. She does not feel guilty because her kids love it at daycare!
“They see other kids, have fun snacks, and do crafts.”
I also know that because they’ve spent the morning there and I’ve gotten work done, I’m much more likely to be present with them when they’re home and not think about trying to get a bit of work done.
“I read a study recently that said the sheer volume of time spent with kids has no relationship to how children turn out. It’s the quality of the time spent with them.”
I know that because I am taking that much needed time for myself, the quality of time spent with them has gone up significantly.
How do you see your daycare?
Alicia Hough is a Corporate Wellness Expert at The Product Analyst. She doesn’t feel guilty because she has been sending her kids to daycare for a long time already
“It’s better to have someone looking after them rather than leave them in the house alone, knowing that there are a lot of bad instances that might happen if they are alone in the
If you know the place as an unsafe environment, indeed, you will always feel guilty leaving them behind, which is why it will still depend on how you see your daycare.
Working Mom Daycare Guilt Tips
Give yourself grace
PriscillaVon Sorella says she would tell women who feel guilty that they should give themselves grace and there is a balance to everything.
Everyone has their own personal conviction and lifestyle that serves their beliefs, but if you give yourself the gift of some free time and time to truly focus on your business/career/life goals, you will ultimately be a better parent.
Own your decision
Lizi Sprague says it’s so easy to feel guilty because you’re not feeling guilty. But if you are feeling guilty, I’d say you made your decision. Own it. You’re the parent.
If people or friends make you feel inferior or make you feel like a bad parent for making a decision that you know is best for your child and your situation then it’s their friendship you should be questioning.
You need to surround yourself with people that support and empower you. Parents supporting parents. Women supporting women. Mom’s supporting Moms. Dad’s supporting Dads. That’s what it’s about. Raising a child takes a village.
You are enough
Jennifer Madsen says if you feel guilty, it’s time to start telling yourself that you are ENOUGH. What you’re doing is ENOUGH. It isn’t the scheduled moments or big events you think you should be doing.
“It’s about what I call the “in-between moments.” These are the moments where you slow down and hold their hand while walking to the bathroom to brush their hair or teeth. The moments where you notice how truly beautiful and funny they are, like REALLY notice”.
Alicia Hough advises you to put your trust into whoever is managing the daycare and be sure that you can count on them.